A Hole In My Soul

How is it that some days I have laughter in my heart, and the next I feel like I have a hole in my soul? What a difference a day makes! There are days I wake up feeling something is  not right, but for the life of me, I cannot put my finger on it. It is so aggravating; like a mosquito buzzing over my head when I am trying to sleep. Do I ignore it? No! Even though I would like to do that, I realize there is a spirit inside me that says to ignore it would be ignoring reality. Do I reach for a spiritual bandaid by praying, “God, fix this. Tell me what it is I need to do, but please do not make me cling to the cross so long that I get splinters in my hands. Please just this once, couldn’t you just tell me?”

My mother’s words come rushing to my mind, “a lesson learned is a lesson earned.” No, no, I want the easy way out this time!”  But then the uncertainties of life become a reality, and you know without a doubt that He in not going to let you go, until you learn what it is He wants you to know! Just like the all-night wrestling match that Jacob had with the angel. (Genesis 32:22-32) Just as God dealt with Jacob, I know without a shadow of doubt that He is going to deal the same way with me. He is going to turn me every which way but loose, until I deal with whatever it is I have to deal with! So much for the spiritual bandaid!

If I had a hole in my foot, I could go to a doctor, but a hole in the soul has to be healed by the Great Physician. Only He has the genuine Balm of Gilead. If I want the healing to last, I have to do my part just like the crippled man at the Pool of Bethesda. Jesus, told him, “get up, pick up your bed and walk.” (John 5:8)

No matter how hard we try to prevent it, our trials sometimes become bigger than life itself. We tell Him, we cannot take it anymore, enough is enough! But in His sovereignty,  our todays turn into tomorrows. The alarm sounds, awaking us to another day. I guess that is the Lord telling us we are not defeated, so get up and trust Him to make it through another one.

Yes, the good times and bad times are woven into the tapestries of our lives. We have to remember that He sees the front side of the tapestry and all we see are the knotted threads going every which way. Even though the ends fray and the threads become weak, He will hold the threads together, covering us in His love, grace and mercy! We need to snuggle up in that tapestry that He is weaving for us, because there is no safer place we could be!

The song follows the history of the song!

This entry was posted in God's Sovereignty, Grace and Mercy, Inspirational and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to A Hole In My Soul

  1. Diana says:

    Dear Sandy, Thank you for sharing! I think the days that we feel we have a hole in our soul are times of testing. I listen to KHCB 105.7 daily and the other day Tony Evans said something that made a lot of sense to me! I shall quote it for you: “Yesterday is a cancelled check – Tomorrow is a promissory note – but – Today is a gift that is why it’s called the present” Love, Diana😊

    Sent from Diana’s iPad


    • sandyd748 says:

      Thanks Dianna, loved the quote! Life is definitely lived day by day! I guess the Lord knows the uncertainty of life will draw us closer to Him! Have a blessed day my friend!


  2. Anonymous says:

    Just what I’ve needed to hear, Sandy. It is well with my Soul!


  3. tommieharms says:

    I thank you sister for being transparent about the soul hurt. It is common to me as well. My heart is thankful that He loves me so much to not let me go as the lesson is being taught. My spirit is grateful that in these times He gathers up my tears and stores them. My soul deep within is clinging to Him as I know He alone is changing me from glory to glory in my timeline of life with him.
    Sister, you are precious to share with all about your soul. What a loving way to be transparent with us and your journey with Father. Love you much Sandy and grateful that you write about the One And Only Soul Healer. TH ;~}


    • sandyd748 says:

      Thank you Dear Tommie! Sometimes I feel I am too transparent but I guess I want the readers to feel my heart! Your comments always are so uplifting and I truly appreciate them. I think you and I are a lot alike in our ways and thoughts! Bless you!


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